Where is my home???

It’s my 2nd day back in Nizhny Novgorod, still in emo state… still missing home a lot… still can’t get hold of my weird feeling…

Good Bye…

To wait, to receive and to read text message has been part of my life since 2 months ago. But it ended last Tuesday. Every text message I received for the past 2 months is like a game for me coz you’ll never know when and which text messages will make you loss something very precious to you.
I received a message at 5.15pm (Russia time) from my brother saying that my grandma passed away. Why? Why? It’s just 3 more weeks and I’ll be home to see her. Just 3 weeks. 3 weeks. But now, I can’t see her anymore. I can’t even pay my last respect to her. I really miss her.

What are you doing outside?
What are you doing with that sack of corn?
What are you doing with that pruner?
What are you doing with that spear?
What are you doing with that hammer?
What are you doing with that coal?
What are you doing with that cane?
Did you climb the tree again?
Did you feed the chicken by yourself again?
Did you pluck the rambutan again?
Did you go gardening again?
Did you fix the chicken cage again?
Did you use the coal stoves again?
Did you chase cousin with the cane again?
I miss asking you these questions…

How are you?
How are you studies?
What do you wanna eat today?
What are you planning to do later?
Why are you so thin?
Why are you sweating so much?
Have you eaten?
Have you gain any weight?
Are you happy studying there?
Are you coming back next year?
When are you coming back?
When are you graduating?
I miss you asking me these questions…

Grandmama, you are always so concern about my health and weight… but dun worry, I am eating healthy food now, I gained some weight, I’ll try my very best in my studies, I’ll enjoy everything I do, I’ll cherish every memory we have, I love you and I will miss you very much.

I did it again..

Why am I blogging at this hour???? Well… that’s because I postponed my neurology exam. Yup… i did it again…. I know…. I know… why give up now??? I still have 4 more days to study… First, I’m 1 lazy creature that no one else can be as lazy as me. During my neurology cycle, I was busy preparing for my surgery exam and after that, I did try to prepare for my classes which end up snoozing on my bed and I dun seems to understand what is what and which is which. Up till now, I completed 25 questions which took me 4 days to really understand it. Plus, I don’t want to be deceitful as some of the student here. What is the point of knowing nothing and pass or get excellent mark??? So what if you don’t want to be a neurologist?….. Future neurologist or not neurologist, we still need to be a NORMAL student. A NORMAL SINCERE and “CAT” FREE student. Cat – by mean of “copy-cat”.

Since I’m postponing my neurology exam, I need to get started with my internal medicine so that this lazy, slow, idiot brain can finish studying on time. PEACE OUT…~~~

Tag – you’re it…

Спасибо Ли Чин для маркировать меня в этой “цифровой” неофициальной игре спортивной площадки включая гнать и касатьться.
1. Apakah hubungan awak dengan dia (insan yang menge-TAG anda?)
-My friend from primary school, get to know her better during secondary school… she is one elastic girl..

2. 5 impressions terhadap si dia..
- skinny
- flexible as in – I dun think her joints are from connective tissue, its more to rubber
- brainiac
- high resistance
- tough

3. Perkara yang paling memorable dia pernah lakukan kat awak?
-after knowing her for such a long time, she mistaken me as her other friend… sedih tau…

4. Perkara paling memorable dia cakap kat awak?
-hehehehehehe…. Dun remember le….

5. Kalau dia kekasih awak, awak akan?
-suruh dia jaga diri sendiri baik sikit… jangan tension tension…. Hidup ken agiler giler sikit..

6. Kalau dia jadi musuh anda, anda akan?
-eat her up…

7. Kalau dia kekasih anda, dia perlu improve dlm…?
-ermm…. Need to gain abit weight la…. Too skinny…

8. kalau dia jadi musuh anda mungkin kerana…?
-I eat her dog???

9. Overall impression tentang dia?
-She’s a fortis girl…

10. The most desirable thing to do with her/him?
-wanna lepak lepak with her…

11. Apakah anda rasa tentang pandangan orang terhadap anda?
-ppl always think that I’m weak…

12. The character of you for yourself…
-weird… by da way, li chin you are garang k…

13. on the contrary, the character you hate about yourself…
-last minute work…. Which I’m a bit more hardworking…

14. The ideal person you want to be with
- the one who share the same DNA as mine…

15. For people who like you, tell something to them…
-appreciate every live in front of you, its too late to regret when they are gone…

1. Put this badge (above) in your awesome blog.
2. Award this badge to 10 bloggers whom you think are inspirational and friendly.
3. Make sure you put the ‘recipients’ names here, along with their links.
4. Let them know about this.

Tag – you’re it :-
1 ) Amnah
2 ) Shaz
3 )Shikin
4 )Sarah
5 )Li Chin
6 ) Kak Ryna
7 ) Kak Ieja
8 ) Kak Ain
9 ) Zaheer
10 )7t

p/s-translation:Thanks Li Chin for tagging me in this “digital” informal playground game involving chasing and touching.

Grandmama

Grandmama,
I knew that you have been suffering from diabetes for quite a long time, but you have been controlling your diet and lifestyle stricter than the rest of the diabetic patient. You always look healthy. You’re always cheerful. I am happy whenever I saw you. When I’m still a little kid, you took care of me when mum goes to work. Although time passed by, but those memories are still fresh in my mind. You bathed me, you cooked for me, you feed me, you brought me to the market every morning, you brought me to the park, you played with me. I know that I have not been a good child… I climbed the trees, I caught tadpoles and feed the chicken, I played in the wrecked car. I’m sorry if I caused any trouble to you. Forgive me grandmama.

After mum quit her work, I seldom see you anymore because there is no need to trouble you to take care of me anymore. I always looked forward to go to your house. Because I know whenever I go there… you will prepare my favorites dishes… < Kangkung belacan>… and mum would scold me and ask me to left some for the others… I love kangkung belacan…

Grandmama,
As I grow older and older, I’m busy with my study and school activities, the chances to see you has become lower and lower… I’m sorry… but you are still my best grandmama… as time passed by, we’re not as close as we’re before… I’m sorry…

When I had decided to further my study in Russia, you gave me some money and told me to buy something with it, and I did…. I did buy a pair of sneakers… I’ve been using it all this time… that’s my favorite sneakers. I am glad that you are proud of me.

And when I’m home for summer holiday, you always say that I’m getting thinner and thinner and I would look prettier if I gain more weight… I’ll never forget that… I miss you grandmama…

Grandmama,
I have not taken any picture with you since lower form… So please wait for me… I’ll be flying home on the 27th of June… Get well soon and wait for me… I wanna have my picture taken with you, I wanna eat your kangkung belacan, I wanna hear your laughter, I wanna see your smile… please get well soon… please….. please…… I miss you…

The real me…

Here is the analysis from http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test81.aspx

You’ve got great self-confidence and you’re full of charm. Most guys who get to know you will be attracted to you. You are far from sweet and proper; your intriguing personality fascinates them. Most guys find it easy to fall for a girl like you.

You really care about other people’s feelings and are quite serious about the issues that affect your life. You are sincere, and your concern for the well-being of others makes many people want to be your friend.

You are a bright, cheerful and bubbly person. You are thoughtful and considerate, and like to have fun. Everybody feels comfortable around you because of your pleasant nature. When you walk into a room, people’s eyes are likely to be drawn to you because of your charm.

Your peers think of you as a fun person, but sometimes you can be a little irresponsible. You can be somewhat childish, and can try to ignore the fact that you will one day need to really grow up and be a mature adult! Perhaps you could start reading good books; they might help you look at the world in a different light. You do want to be taken seriously, right?

Your boyfriend believes that you are a strong and independent person. Your confidence and cheerfulness make you an attractive person to be around, but sometimes you need to pay more attention to what other people, including your boyfriend, are thinking.

Getting to know me…

Below are my test result from  http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You’re a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you’ll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Its been a while…

Well… due to my disinclination to blog and not doing anything…  its been a while since i update this blog…
there will be an obstetric exam next thursday… which mean, my low desire to expend effort in not doing anything need to be rouse correspondly….

Concentrate..!!!!

Me going to confiscate my laptop till I finish up my hygiene… good bye lappy…. I’ll miss ya…

Let it be 27th..

Well…. It’s the 3rd week of 2009…. And I can’t think of any resolution yet… I’m suppose to bring forward my hygiene exam on the 15th, but I think it’s better for me to do it on the real exam date- somewhere on the 27th I guess… Since hygiene is a crappy subject, so I won’t be surprise if some (or should I say “most”?) of the people who is doing on the 15th have a “backup” plan…

Last night, while “exploring” tagged, I found out that there’s a chat room in it. (Ya…. Ya… I’m kind of slow when it comes to IT… So???) Any way, it’s somewhat fun chatting crap with strangers without worrying who is it and you can totally be yourself. Compare to the reality world I’m in, you need to be careful with your verbal communication and action coz you might be the world’s greatest enemy the next second you know. But the one disappointing thing to say about this chat room is that some “creepy guy” might send private message asking for your phone number and dirty talk to you. I guess that’s what we call “desperado”.

Last few days, I have been spending my so called “free time” reading manga. Life in manga is so wonderful. I wonder if kronos heaven really exist as in “zettai kareshi”. Then the world will be full with loyal superhero ideal boy friend (plus, they won’t grow old and will forever appear to be that cute).

Wouldn’t it be nice if my life is a bit more adventurous? Adventurous as in good adventure ofcoz. For example: gain some mythical magical power. Any way, its impossible… what the heck am I thinking??? Come back soo ching!!! Come back to the reality!!!!!